The pieces fit together

Snapp Secret, I'm in pieces today. I feel like my heart was ripped out of my body and it took my spirit with it. I'm broken. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. I don't know why but this month I really felt I was pregnant, and seeing that single blue line broke me this morning.

I know why humans have the desire to repopulate, because God told us to in the very beginning. God placed the desire of having a baby on all of our hearts. And that desire is really pulling at my heart strings at this period of my life.

Instead of spending the day crying, I have decided to spend the day putting the pieces back together. The pieces of my pumpkin quilt. All of the pieces you see were whole once. They were whole and apart of large swaths of solid fabric. And I broke them. Much like my period broke me.

These pieces, if they could feel, would be in mourning. They would cry out to God, "why have you separated us from the whole?!" And I'm sure God would reply, "because the purpose you serve is so much greater than you could imagine."

It is hard for me to remember that at times. That what God will make of my life is so much greater than a baby right now. I have no idea what that life will look like. After all, I am in pieces. But I have quilting as proof that the pieces become something beautiful in the end.

Lindsay Snapp

Comments

Why Not Be Kind?

Snapp secret... I think I might be out of the loop with the driving philosophy of the times. I have spent some time on social media lately and I have seen an overwhelming amount of posts directing people to be more selfish and isolated. To put themselves first before all others One such post said " In your 30s you will realize how much of your life was built to please others. It's very important to burn it all down and rebuild it for yourself." This is actually the exact philosophy of the church of satan. I'm not being coy when I say that. I actually have read through their whole philosophy and it is in their belief system to be selfish and not help others. This post, I mention, had thousands of likes and thousands of comments cheering for it. And all I felt when I read it was confused. I spent my youth being very selfish and not pleasing a single person but myself. If someone asked me to make them a meal I would have declined. If someone asked me to teach them how t...

What really is intellect?

Snapp Secret... I always score high on intelligence quotient tests, and I feel they are a terrible test of intelligence. For those of you who have never done an IQ test let me tell you a bit about them. They are tests to determine if you can solve a missing piece of a pattern and determine a correct word. Which is a wonderful test if you want to know if a child will fall in line and do data well. But I argue, intelligence is the ability to create something new. Unfortunately this isn't something any formed test can truly verify you have the ability to do. No, the real test is how time remembers you. Will you be remembered as the person who cured cancer? Will you be remembered as the person who saved the aquifers? Those people are the true genius' of our time. I have taught gifted children, as judged by iq tests, and there is a quality many of them possess. An inability to move on from failure. When they receive their first F they give up on a class. When they are...

The Pain of Forgivness

Snapp Secret... I wish I wasn't such an easy target for people to be disrespectful. My mom and I were talking the other day and she said my whole life it's been as though bullies were attracted to me. Similar to how abusive men have a type, well bullies have a type too. And I'm it. Bullies are drawn to me for the same reason children are drawn to me, because I am way too forgiving. I seem to have no boundaries and allow everyone to walk all over me. Usually instead of my bully saying sorry I will say sorry for setting a boundary. I'm sure you are wondering about examples, well here goes nothing. In high school a boy keyed my car because I wouldn't date him. I apologized to him that I didn't date him. In my 20s I had a woman go to hr to get me fired so that she could get my job. I apologized to her that I had been making so much more money than her. In 3rd grade on the basketball team my team mates would boo me any time I went to shoot the ball in practice. I ...

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