Hurry up and have patience

Snapp secret.... I'm not as mature as my wrinkles. My wrinkles tell time, and they show that I smile a lot, raise my eyebrows in excitement a lot, and am confused more often than I'd like to admit. I am getting old. According to my obgyn when I am pregnant I will be a geriatric pregnant person. And I agree, after all, my ovarian reserves are the same as someone in their mid forties.

I should be very mature at this point. Very wise. Very patient. And probably some more words I can't think of right now. But instead I'm sitting here sewing little pumpkins praying to God to make me patient right this second. He needs to hurry up and make me patient right now, because I am not patient enough to wait for this quality and skill to mature. I'm not patient enough to wait on patience.

My lack of patience is driving my stress hormones through the roof. These little pumpkins I'm sewing take so long. Making babies takes so long. Paying off a mortgage takes so long. And at 37 my lack of patience turns me into my own worse enemy.

My lack of patience makes me give up on projects easily. Want to sell my house and move into an apartment. Give up on having children and travel the world instead. It makes me give up on things that I need and want the most.

So, I pray to God. "God, make me patient right this second. Not tomorrow, not next week. Right now. Thank you amen."

God unsurprisingly does not listen to my prayer. God is teaching me patience. And between you and me reader, God has been trying to give me this lesson for 37 years and I've always walked out on his teachings. But not this time. This time I'm going to force myself to stick with these things and not give up.

This time I'm going to chill out and learn to slowly grow patience. So stay tuned to this blog because eventually I will get these darn pumpkins finished and will be posting a beautiful pumpkin quilt. And instead of love this quilt will have been sewn with patience.

Lindsay Snapp

Comments

Why Not Be Kind?

Snapp secret... I think I might be out of the loop with the driving philosophy of the times. I have spent some time on social media lately and I have seen an overwhelming amount of posts directing people to be more selfish and isolated. To put themselves first before all others One such post said " In your 30s you will realize how much of your life was built to please others. It's very important to burn it all down and rebuild it for yourself." This is actually the exact philosophy of the church of satan. I'm not being coy when I say that. I actually have read through their whole philosophy and it is in their belief system to be selfish and not help others. This post, I mention, had thousands of likes and thousands of comments cheering for it. And all I felt when I read it was confused. I spent my youth being very selfish and not pleasing a single person but myself. If someone asked me to make them a meal I would have declined. If someone asked me to teach them how t...

What really is intellect?

Snapp Secret... I always score high on intelligence quotient tests, and I feel they are a terrible test of intelligence. For those of you who have never done an IQ test let me tell you a bit about them. They are tests to determine if you can solve a missing piece of a pattern and determine a correct word. Which is a wonderful test if you want to know if a child will fall in line and do data well. But I argue, intelligence is the ability to create something new. Unfortunately this isn't something any formed test can truly verify you have the ability to do. No, the real test is how time remembers you. Will you be remembered as the person who cured cancer? Will you be remembered as the person who saved the aquifers? Those people are the true genius' of our time. I have taught gifted children, as judged by iq tests, and there is a quality many of them possess. An inability to move on from failure. When they receive their first F they give up on a class. When they are...

The Pain of Forgivness

Snapp Secret... I wish I wasn't such an easy target for people to be disrespectful. My mom and I were talking the other day and she said my whole life it's been as though bullies were attracted to me. Similar to how abusive men have a type, well bullies have a type too. And I'm it. Bullies are drawn to me for the same reason children are drawn to me, because I am way too forgiving. I seem to have no boundaries and allow everyone to walk all over me. Usually instead of my bully saying sorry I will say sorry for setting a boundary. I'm sure you are wondering about examples, well here goes nothing. In high school a boy keyed my car because I wouldn't date him. I apologized to him that I didn't date him. In my 20s I had a woman go to hr to get me fired so that she could get my job. I apologized to her that I had been making so much more money than her. In 3rd grade on the basketball team my team mates would boo me any time I went to shoot the ball in practice. I ...

Snapp Secrets

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