Snapp Secret... there is a big difference between ironing a pair of pants for a man that tolerates you vs ironing a pair of pants for a man that loves you. To say the least, this entry is going to be very personal but I'm betting there is an unmarried woman out there that might value this story.
Before Colt there were many men. Men who loved me, men who hated me, men who tolerated me, and there was Tony. Tony proposed to me a month into dating in the most dreamy of ways. Tony himself was dreamy. He had a profitable company, a loving family, he was practically a virgin, a Christian, an honest man, and Tony loved me.
Unfortunately like most dreamy things, I was in lala land in my belief that all of it was true, let alone him being an honest man. It was all a dream, none of it was real. The company wasn't reputable, his family was hateful, he was cheating on me, he was never honest, and Tony absolutely did not love me.
I didn't know all of that though. Not until the very end of our relationship. But there were signs. There are always signs. I found another woman's shirt in our laundry one day. He couldn't afford to plan a honeymoon for us because his business was doing poorly, his mother refused to talk to me at family gatherings. The signs were blaring but I didn't care, because Tony was dreamy.
Tony wouldn't let me see my female friends because he was threatened by them, because they saw the flags. Tony wouldn't even let me go on a bachelorette trip with his sister, my sister, and my mom because they might squeal on him.
For our engagement photos Tony's mom took a break from giving me the cold shoulder to teach me how to iron Tony's clothes. She said it was my duty because I am a woman, and men can't be bothered with such things. I had never ironed a day in my life and it was quite intimidating for me to iron Tony's dress clothes. It probably took me 1.5 hours to do all 3 pieces of clothing.
I never felt joy that day, or any day I ironed Tony's clothing. I felt scared, I felt worried for my future. Because even though Tony was dreamy, something in my gut said "there are some red flags here Lindsay."
Eventually what ended Tony and I was a prenup. He sent me the prenup 2 weeks before our wedding and in it it said if he died every single thing I owned including our home would be taken from me even if we had children. I called Tony and asked him why he would rob our future children of housing after his death. He said because I was the type of woman that would remarry within 6 months.
I told Tony I needed time to think about the prenup, and he told me not to come home again. He wasn't being serious, but I don't take threats well. I called up my sister and within an hour we were at the house and we packed up every single shred of property I owned in Tony's apartment. I left his apartment bare. He came home from work and discovered me and all of my possessions vanished.
He of course called me and asked to come to my mother's house to beg for me back. But by then my mother had had enough. You see my mother had been collecting all of these red flags along the way, and she decided if this man that told me not to come home was going to beg for me back then she was going to confront him.
Tony sat at our dining table and tried to lie and slide the truth around like a slippery soap as my mother berated him with questions. That moment opened my eyes to who Tony was and why every time I ironed his clothing I felt sick to my stomach. That was the end of Tony and I. The end of the dream.
A few years later I was fortunate enough to meet and marry Colt. And Colt was more than a dream, Colt was real. Colt was everything my friends and family had ever wanted for me and more. Colt was the type of guy that you iron the pants for while listening to music and dancing around. Because you have not one single worry in your heart, just Love.
I truly believe God was guiding me the whole way. If I hadn't had Tony, I wouldn't have known what green flags to look for with Colt. I love my husband but I'm still appreciative to all the men that came before. Because after all, without a little rain the sun shine isn't as sweet.
Unmarried women, use my story as a lesson to yourselves. Look at your partner, iron his pants, and search your heart for your feelings about him. Do you dance? Or do you feel sick?
God bless you ladies,
Lindsay Snapp
Comments
Post a Comment